Toxic Masculinity; We’ve all heard it in conversations about feminism. “Toxic masculinity is the patriarchal weapon that oppresses women!” “It’s the reason there’s gender discrimination!” And, of course, the other side of the argument,
Toxic masculinity is radical feminism where man-haters call all men toxic!
But what exactly does this widely misunderstood phrase mean? As defined by the Oxford dictionary, toxic masculinity is a set of attitudes and ways of behaving stereotypically associated with or expected of men, regarded as having a negative impact on men and society as a whole. Essentially, toxic masculinity is the idea of what a man should be like, and this social construction of a ‘manly’ man is toxic, not men themselves.
A ‘manly’ man, according to most people, would be a six-foot bodybuilder with a deep, authoritative voice and is the breadwinner of his family, perfectly representing toxic masculinity. Our idea of a strong male is restrictive and stereotyped, with several devastating consequences.
For example, the phrase “boys don’t cry” encourages the oppression of emotions and teaches young boys that while females can be vulnerable, a boy will be seen as weak. Toxic masculinity is also associated with showing feelings through aggression, promoting male dominance. That’s why men are made to feel ashamed when their female companions make more money than them – because they are made to believe that they aren’t ‘manly’ enough.
Its effects on men (including more accidents, homicide, and suicide rates) are shockingly often ignored. Young boys especially suffer from today’s societal standards of masculinity. Whether it’s getting bullied for not playing sports or listening to “feminine” music, this social construct damages boys’ psychological and emotional health, causing trauma and even inducing dangerous behavior.
As easy as it may sound, a simple start can be made by accepting and validating a male friend’s emotions and encouraging them to express themselves. Avoiding comments about gendered interests or stereotypical “girly” hobbies helps boys see that masculinity isn’t just about being rugged or sporty. While this may just be a starting point, small changes like these create ripple effects in our society.
